What is this? DeGrassi Junior High?

Do you ever have those moments that bring back those insecure feelings from Junior high school?

The other day I was sitting at the back of my class. My friend didn't come that day, so I was the only one back there. There were a smattering of other students from various countries there....amongst them - 4 Russian girls. They just transfered into our class, and are quite good with the language- and are eager beavers to say the least. They like to be the first to answer the questions, and are good at reading, will correct you if you give the wrong answer etc.

For me, it was one of my first days back at school after being away for quite some time, so I was just getting back in the swing of things. Feeling rusty.

I was sitting with my head in my hand staring at my book...the teacher was saying "waw waw waw waw waw" (think Charlie Brown- that is literally how it sounds to me- 60% of the time I have no idea what they are saying. If I don't pay attention it sounds like that 80% if the time.)

After a few minutes it dawned on me that I was hearing "Waw waw pause" ....."Waw waw pause".... "Waw waw? pause" .... I realized that the teacher was talking to someone in the class and they weren't responding. Upon lifting my head I realized it was me. If it were in english it would have sounded like this " Stella...", "Stella", ....."Stella?" which makes no sense right? Yeah, cuz my name is not Stella. So, understandably I was a little confused....who is Stella? Is that the name of one of the people in the dialogue? Or does she think I'm Stella? So, in my flustered state,I fumbled through explaining that my name is not Stella, my name is actually blah blah blah.... etc..." I don't think the teacher understood me as she just moved on to asking someone else to read the dialogue and didn't ask me to read anything else after that. Which was ok with me actually, but what bothered me was that the Russian girls laughed at me. And I felt a sting of that kind of embarrassment that you become well acquanted with in Junior High School, but rarely experience after that time. I don't think they were trying to be mean, I think it was actually a funny moment- if you weren't the person being called Stella...

I realized from this event that it doesn't take much to bias you against people. Really. I felt a touch of distaste for the eager beavers after that. Most likely that distaste is based on a misperception. Regardless though, I decided I'm going to make a move to be friendly and choose to be gracious. Forgive it, move on, reach out. I know it sounds like a petty little thing-....but even the little things can cause rifts. I know that I have the capacity to let that tiny bit of embarrassment cause me to be just a little bit less friendly, to be a little less warm...and to be truthful, they probably wouldn't care. But I would know it. And God would know it. And my heart would be a little colder for it. And really, isn't life too short for that? After all, I'm really not in junior high anymore.